BISHOP LAZARUS: Of little minds, bootlicking season, two angry old men

Poor Lazarus now a senior Zanu-PF bigwig? Kikikikiki! God of mercy! Look at what your children are now doing to poor me. Should I be flattered or what? I pray for their redemption.
Bishop Lazarus
Bishop Lazarus

The little minds went into overdrive last week and your poor Bishop was at the receiving end. But then as a Bishop of many years, I can tell you, dear readers, that I wasnai??i??t moved at all.

Not at all. At my church sometimes they misinterpret my gospel and they go to town telling lies. This comes with the territory and I receive.

The Daily News had the most interesting angle. ai???Writing in the lick-spittle Sunday Mail yesterday, a columnist who uses a bizarre pseudonym of Bishop Lazarus, and widely believed to be a senior Zanu-PF bigwig . . . ai???

Poor Lazarus now a senior Zanu-PF bigwig? Kikikikiki! God of mercy! Look at what your children are now doing to poor me. Should I be flattered or what? I pray for their redemption.

But, hey, letai??i??s look at the light side of all this, lest you accuse me of being one of those boring Bishops. The Daily News thinks I am some senior Zanu-PF bigwig and I was just imagining – does the paper think I am VP Mnangagwa or VP Mphoko? Who are the senior Zanu-PF bigwigs? Maybe they think I am the new kid on the block Cde Ignatius Chombo, who is now the partyai??i??s secretary for administration? Surely, I canai??i??t be the gone and angry Didymus Mutasa or the fired and fed up Rugare Gumbo. I canai??i??t be those two angry old men. No. The story of these two should be captured one day in some book entitled ai???When Two Old men Get Angry.ai???

Their recklessness and desperation has hit the roof. Maybe the book should be entitled ai???Two Useless Old men who overrate themselves.ai??? You see grown-ups are never supposed to reach the levels that these two have reached in terms of soiling their history.

I am a forgiving Bishop and urge the two to read the Bible: Ephesians 4:26-27 says: ai???Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.ai???

James 1:19-20 says: ai???Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.ai???

Cdes Mutasa and Gumbo did a lot for the country during the liberation struggle but ai???they should be slow to speak, slow to angerai??? because they risk destroying their legacy through over-emphasised ambitions. God help the dear comrades, for the path they are following gives the devil the opportunity. The other privately-owned newspapers, the Newsday and its Bulawayo version, the Southern Eye, thought your dear Bishop is some ai???shadowy character.ai??? Well, letai??i??s leave the little minds with their shadowy Bishop. Little minds are always clouded, isnai??i??t it? If the little minds are to be believed, then VP Mnangagwa is ai???Under Siege,ai??? or ai???Daggers drawn against ED.ai???

Bishop Lazarus, the one who is supposed to be a senior Zanu-PF bigwig, was used as the entry point to hammer the point home that indeed VP Mnangagwa is under fire.

The poor Bishop was lampooned together with the supposedly ai???Gang of Fourai??? comprising ai???senior party bigwigs Oppah Muchinguri, Jonathan Moyo, Patrick Zhuwao and Saviour Kasukuwere.ai???

Now probably as a ai???Gang of Fiveai??? (it keeps getting better for your Bishop) this team was accused of working to undermine VP Mnangagwa.

Indeed we are in the bootlicking season and am afraid, VP Mnangagwa shall be licked until he runs dry. It all started with Cde Josiah Hungwe who equated the VP to the Son of Man, meaning Jesus, then followed Cde Faber Chidarikire with his Acting First Lady ai???jokeai??? in reference to the Acting Presidentai??i??s wife and the latest being former Midlands governor Cephas Msipa who despite being discouraged a few weeks ago, still wants to present the VP as an exclusive Midlands property.

The Daily News, which had turned itself into a Mujuru propaganda pamphlet until the beloved Joice was shown the door, has joined the bootlicking bandwagon and itai??i??s doing it without any shame.

Suddenly, the Daily News which took what they are calling a business decision to back the former VP to the hilt, now wants to pretend as if itai??i??s fighting VP Mnangagwaai??i??s cause. Itai??i??s obviously another business decision. Professionalism becomes a stranger and the talk of ethics has been thrown through the window.

Fortunately, VP Mnangagwa is not naive and is not easily excitable like the former. This is yet another business decision bound to hit the brickwall.

This poor Bishop is not part of any gang or cabal for that matter. If VP Mnangagwa is under siege, donai??i??t blame it on the poor Bishop. Blame the bootlickers. I am a mere Bishop who believes and knows that there is one God.

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  • heeeeei

    But the Bishop should know that the very Bible he refers to has so many interpretations as can be seen from so many churches? So any event has as many interpretations as there are observers. Please leave readers to decide and I can say with no fear or favor that the private media tries to be more balanced than the public media, which is actually not that public but very partisan!!! This is common knowledge to the majority of people.

  • Makuhwa

    Dear bishop , your last paragraph tells a big story on your real motives , you should just stay in the Church.

  • Mike Ross

    The Bishop goes on a rant of too much sound and fury signifying nothing.