BISHOP LAZARUS: Letai??i??s go American (there, I said it!)

It is not every day that Simba Makoni says something that makes anyone sit up and listen. For many, the last time he did that was around 2000 when as Finance Minister he cut the price of beer.
Bishop Lazarus
Bishop Lazarus

Ok, maybe Iai??i??m being a little uncharitable, which is bad for a clergyman.

He has done some notable things, or at least benefited from notable appointments – which are not exactly the same thing.

In 1980, he was appointed Deputy Minister of Agriculture at the impressive age of 30. The following year he was appointed Industry and Energy Development Minister; and in 1983, aged just 33, he was appointed Executive Secretary of the then SADCC – a post he kept for a good 10 years.

The end of his stint at the regional bloc came under a cloud. Something about financial fiddling that got three officials sacked with Makoni taking personal responsibility for the scandal but making the distinction that he never personally benefited.

Anyway, back to my opening line.

Makoni said something of note in 2012, which I thought of again this past week while looking at our Cabinet.

In an interview with Innocent Chofamba-Sithole he said: ai???In Zimbabwe, 32 years after independence, under the leadership of one of the most radical nationalist anti-imperialist leaders of Africa, Robert Mugabe, Shona and Ndebele are taught in Zimbabwean schools as second languages.

ai???Can you imagine that? And that is not in the debate! Itai??i??s not in the discussion; it hasnai??i??t been for 32 years.ai???

Granted, something has been done about the status of formerly ai???vernacularai??? languages, which now enjoy the status of ai???nationalai??? languages.

We all know President Mugabe is one of the most articulate statesmen around, whether speaking in Shona or English. And he sure does know how to cut a dashing figure in a well-proportioned suit.

For these reasons, some have labelled him ai???more British than the Britishai??? whose bullying, meddling and hypocrisy he so often calls out with his sharp intellect and precise diction; most recently at the UN General Assembly.

As such, President Mugabe is himself called a hypocrite.

However, I see President Mugabe more of ai??i?? ironically to borrow from the strongest of British culture – as that Shakespearean character in ai???The Tempestai??? who rails to his coloniser: ai???You taught me language, and my profit onai??i??t/ Is I know how to curse. The red plague rid you/ For learning me your language!ai???

This is the native unchained, the native (in the words of Fanon) feeling a national soil under his feet for the first time, with the power to take the tools of oppression and turn them into weapons of decolonisation!

But perhaps we ate too much British book, and despite efforts at regurgitating the poisonous aspects of our colonial experience, we still retain a little more than we should.

Like the system of appointing ministers – which is as debilitative as it is British.

Just about every minister in Zimbabwe should hold an elected constituency seat. This means very few are appointed solely because of their technical expertise.

Of course, there are some key political briefs ai??i?? such as Foreign Affairs, Defence, Home Affairs, Information and Intelligence – to name some – which require robust politicians to steer them.

Nonetheless, even these require technical skill. And through the decades President Mugabe has been able to appoint individuals with that blend of political acumen and technical orientation to head these.

Then there are some ministries that could be considered purely technical, so to speak.

President Mugabe has had to largely appoint politicians – some with very little technical grasp of what they should be doing – to these portfolios simply because he must pick a Cabinet from elected MPs. (Besides, even the notion of a ai???Cabinetai??? from that very British of systems does not mean everyone called ai???ministerai??? should sit in every Tuesday. But thatai??i??s a sermon for another day.)

Now, most politicians are not the brightest folk in the world. Itai??i??s a fact that rings sour with those whose IQs barely make it into double-digit territory but one readily agreed to by those closer to Einstein.

President Mugabe is one such intellect, as are a few others.

The rest, sad to say, are not the sharpest tools in our national shed.

The reason for this is simple: politics is dirty and very few gifted people see the need to slug it out in this ring when they can easily make their money in the private sector.

Another way of putting it is that politics is like sewage ai??i?? often the scum rises to the top.

So we will have a political ai???talentai??? pool filled with non-talents, and we have no option but to place some of these non-talents in Cabinet because of Constitutional provisions.

The Bishop rather likes the American system.

Secretaries (our equivalent of ministers) do not necessarily have to be politicians, unless of course they are being seconded to the ai???politicalai??? briefs such as Secretary of State.

Most portfolio heads are picked on the basis of loyalty to the ruling party and technical expertise.

More importantly, they all generally possess the necessary attribute of being patriotic.

Yes, hang me for saying we should follow an American system – rather than a British one!

Why should we have to subject perfectly patriotic Zimbabweans, brilliant and gifted Zimbabweans, to the image-threatening hazards of trying to get a Parliamentary seat just so that they can start contributing to our political and economic administration?

The fact is, for ZimAsset to work, for Zimbabwe to function, we need ministers who know their stuff. Yes, they should be politically aware – acutely politically aware – and technically capable at the same time.

The Bishop could dare to give examples of ministers in Zimbabwe who appear to be more than a little out of their depth.

But it would not bode well for a man of the cloth to become exposed to the toxic factionalism bedevilling Zanu-PF by simply naming names and being accused – by shallow politicos – of being pro-such-and-such a faction.

The Bishop is pro-Zimbabwe, thatai??i??s all. Besides, the electricity might go out while wasting time in pointing out the obvious.

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