Behold, the First Lady shall soon speak

Bishop Lazarus
WHAT a week! Indeed, a day is just too long in politics. Tables turn fast and furious in this dirty game. With Sarah Mahoka and Eunice Sandi-Moyo still wondering what has hit them, just imagine what Mandiitawepi Chimene is going through. It gets even more interesting — with the First Lady Dr Grace Mugabe’s deafening silence, just imagine what Saviour “Tyson” Kasukuwere is going through. Uummm, hazvina kana kutombomira mushe!

Rugare vanhu vaMwari! Before I get consumed by the ragging Zanu-PF Women’s League inferno, let me go on a slight detour.

Queen Bee, Joice Mujuru is fast getting isolated. She has to learn politics fast otherwise very soon achazvikanya. Can you imagine Joice wants to bully Morgan? A few days ago, Joice came out, unashamedly saying Morgan owes her because it was her bhora musango in Zanu-PF which enabled the MDC-T to get more votes than Zanu-PF in the 2008 elections.

Kwanzi dzokororo ine simba so let me remind you dear congregants what Joice said. “Anyone who has a sound mind and a bit of memory would know that Tsvangirai won the 2008 elections partly because of the role that Zanu-PF members aligned to Mujuru played to ensure their supporters voted for Zanu-PF MPs and ward councillors, but voted Tsvangirai for president. If that is not true, then what is bhora musango?” Mujuru said through her spokesperson Jealous Mawarire.

Kana kutombonyara zvake Joyi naJealous wake. This statement which was supposed to bully Morgan into jumping into bed with Joice, boomeranged in spectacular fashion. It angered Morgan and excited Zanu-PF. So you see, chagonekwa hapana. No wonder why some people are convinced that Jealous is a perfect Zanu-PF project kwaJoice. Shhhiiii Bishop musataurise!

But you see, Joice was trying to bully Morgan with statistics from history. That doesn’t work. Morgan want votes in 2018, not some statistics from 2008. That’s 10 years ago for goodness sake. In politics matakadya kare haanyaradzi mwana.

After discovering that Joice has nothing to offer, except kuhumana about the gone and forgotten bhora musango of 2008, Morgan has decided to dump her. Anyone who watched that flop of a meeting by NERA last Wednesday will tell you that Morgan told Joice kuti kumusha kwamai vako with that middle finger gesture. Like I have always been saying, Joice has two embarrassing options — either she joins the MDC-T or she rejoins Zanu-PF. Hapana coalition ichaitika apa because Joice haana vanhu. Full stop!

Now, back to today’s sermon. The Zanu-PF Women’s League is on the rampage. National executive members, Sandi-Moyo and Mahoka’s woke up to the realisation that in politics, especially in Zanu-PF mhosva hairovi. The past always has a way of catching up with you in this revolutionary party. But Sandi-Moyo and Mahoka are still dazed so let’s leave them to find their bearings. Let me repeat myself here. What do you think is going on in the mind of the Manicaland provincial affairs minister, Mandi Chimene? She must be some tormented soul, silently wondering whether the Women’s League inferno will soon visit her.

For those who missed the reasons behind the demos against Sandi-Moyo and Mahoka — the two are being accused of undermining the First Lady and Women’s League secretary, Dr Grace Mugabe. In addition, the two are being accused of denigrating VP Mnangagwa and Presidential spokesperson George Charamba. Pana VP Mnangagwa ndipo pari kutanga maone aMandi Chimene.

You see, sometime in July last year, Mandi shocked many when, right in front of the President, attacked VP Mnangagwa. I vividly remember some of her reckless words. To a stunned audience, she said: “Some of us are accused of being members of G40, while others now think I take drugs. I am okay with it, if it makes me work well. I am ready to be the sacrificial lamb. I have been asked to come here and say things as they are. Tsholotsho was led by Mnangagwa and now we hear Team Lacoste is led by him as well.”

Mandi didn’t stop there. She went on to call for the VP to be relieved of his duties. Many were stunned. As I watched on television, I could see that Mandi had really put the President in an awkward position. But of course, being a shrewd politician, the grandmaster of African politics, President Mugabe handled the situation very well. We all heaved a big sigh of relief. The next day, VP Mnangagwa came out guns blazing clarifying the issues that Mandi had raised. We all thought this was the last we were hearing about this issue.

But then Mandi wasn’t done yet. A few days later, she gave an interview where she continued her suicidal tirade against the VP. She went on and on. Look, Bishop Lazarus has no brief to defend the VP, but the disrespect by Mandi was just appalling. Yes, the VP has his weaknesses but that was never the way to handle the issue. Mandi went way over the board.

Now, seated wherever she is, Mandi must be sweating. That past is about to catch up with her. So far her name has not yet featured in the demonstrations but who knows? By the way, did anyone see Mandi during the demonstrations in Manicaland? This story has not yet been told in full. Soon it will turn very, very scary and nasty.

You see, this story is bound to get interesting very soon. This is the Women’s League and as you know their boss is the First Lady. I remember some time ago, she said “tisu vanamafira kureva” so you can imagine now vari zii zvavo mai vedu.

Zii zvavo kunge vasipo First Lady. Tyson and crew must be worried sick. You see, during the demonstrations, the Women’s League has been throwing red flags and Tyson is already feeling the heat. Last Friday, Tyson clearly showed that he is cracking under pressure when from nowhere he started attacking Zimpapers, The Herald, its editor and the reporters. Kuvhunduka chati kwatara.

Tyson went further saying he was prepared to take even the Minister of Information, Media and Broadcasting Services, Dr Christopher Mushowe head-on. Hesi mhani! Chakashinga wena Tyson. Sekuru vangu Matope (may his soul rest in peace) would say “Sunga one, sunga dozen!”

The way Tyson reacted sold him out. Hasha ndedzei? That demo was against Sandi-Moyo and Mahoka. Is there something that Tyson knows that we don’t know? Bishop Lazarus knows all that has been going on behind the scenes and to a larger extent understands why Tyson would freak out.

This Bishop loves music. Jah Prayzah has this song called “Mudhara Vachauya.” As I was listening to this song while driving, I kept on singing “Mama Vachauya” and it was sounding good. Sandi-Moyo, Mahoka and probably Mandi are just vatumwa in a bigger and dirtier scheme.

But what lessons do we learn from what is happening in the Women’s League today? Quite a number of lessons. The first lesson is that mhosva hairovi. The second lesson is that we should always respect our elders, even if we sometimes differ with them. I sincerely hope my brothers, Zanu-PF youth leader, Kudzai Chipanga and Mbuso Chinguno, the provincial youth chairperson for Manicaland will get this sermon. Kudzai vakuru ikoko. Honai vamwe nhasi vakuchema.

The third lesson is that people can’t manipulate the First Family in general and the First Lady in particular. I know of some who thought the First Lady was already in their political pockets. Now today, they are wondering what is going on because they can’t find the First Lady.

Tovhara mharidzo with the story of Judas Iscariot. Judas, one of the 12 original disciples of Jesus Christ and the son of Simon Iscariot is known for his kiss and betrayal of Jesus to the Sanhedrin for thirty silver coins. You can go to Luke 22, Matthew 26, Mark 14 and John 18 for the full story.

I particularly like John 6 vs 70-71 which shows that Jesus already knew what Judas was going to do. Well before the betrayal, Jesus had identified Judas as a devil. Now what has this story got to do with today’s sermon?

Well, some people in Zanu-PF thought they were being clever. They thought they could use the First Lady and some even thought they could use the President in their machinations.

But like Jesus, who knew that Judas would betray Him, the President and the First Lady all along knew the Judas Iscariots among those who claimed to be close to them. As we go to 2018, kwangova kutanhaura vana Judas vaya.

Veduwe, ane nzeve ngaanzwe!

Bishop is out!

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