MOSES CHUNGA had the misfortune of being the butt of jokes where I grew up; he was the Joseph Chinotimba of our time. Long before I laid eyes on him, my mind already had this picture of a Moses Chunga who was a dimwit. And you cannot blame me for that. Blame the elders who bombarded Sir with jokes that made Chunga look dull and painted Peter Ndlovu as the greatest, the smartest, the cutest.
One joke I recall is of how Chunga reportedly made a fool of himself in the company of the country’s number one citizen on a day he was made Warriors interim skipper. It was said that at first Chunga didn’t want the responsibility because it involved introducing the rest of the team to the President in English.
But gaffer Reinhard Fabisch said “no Moses, it’s a small matter, you just say ‘good afternoon Your Excellency, I am Moses Chunga’, and then you go on to introduce your teammates”.
And when the time for handshakes came, Chunga seemed to have it all grasped, introducing himself to the President before moving on to Bruce Grobbelaar.
Then disaster struck.
Instead of introducing the Jungle Man, the stand-in national team skipper continued saying ‘“Good afternoon Your Excellency, I am Moses Chunga” – and repeated it each time Gushungo shook hands with a Warriors player.
But time is always the master.
Yours Truly later realised that Chunga was no dimwit, and that although he stammers, his English is not as bad as we were made to believe.
Last weekend the Harare City gaffer gave us another classic quote as he commented on reports that Raphael Manuvire had put in a transfer request.
“So does this mean you will let him go?” asked Howard Musonza of Star FM. “Ahh well when she says she doesn’t love you anymore what do you do?” retorted Chunga.
How a player who was one of the shining lights during an otherwise dull start to the season has fallen out of favour at the Sunshine Boys is not a mystery if you know Chunga and his poor man management skills.
Bambo has a way of ruthlessly culling players while surrounding himself with blue-eyed boys who toady up to him.
The outspoken gaffer has left a trail of shattered hearts in his nomadic career.
Ask Lloyd Mutasa, ask Robby George son of David George, ask Richard Mteki, ask Danger Fourpence.
And now you can add Manuvire – a player whom City broke the bank for – to the list of players who have fallen victim to Chunga’s modus operandi.
Some have argued that Bambo hates skillful players because they remind him of the talent he wasted; but Sir begs to differ.
The guy just lacks management skills.
Man management is something Bambo knows little about and until he masters that art he will forever remain the coach that no one takes seriously.
Yes, the DeMbare legend can point at the championship he won at Gunners, but we all know he wouldn’t have lasted the distance at Chando Kupisa if it were not for Cuthbert Chitima’s endless patience.
One day Willard Katsande will write a book about what Chunga once said about him!
Bambo has a great job at City and he can make the most of it as well as the lucrative perks he gets by concentrating on what he was hired to do – coach the team.
He must stop worrying about how the city councillors’ views his decision to hand the skipper’s armband to Francisco Zekumbawira and why Elvis Chiweshe is involved with the City’s junior teams.
Harare City, on their part, knew what they were bringing into their homestead when they settled for Chunga as the man to replace Taurai Mangwiro.
They have to give their gaffer a long rope. He needs it.
He might have found a new dress sense but Moses Chunga will always be Moses Chunga – abrasive, straight talking and a my way or the highway kind of guy.
Sir exits the scene!
Sir is social media commentator and writes this satirical column in his personal capacity. Feedback: [email protected]
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