The Sunday Mail
Apostle Langton C Kanyati Matrimonial Hub —
MARRIAGE is more than just living with a person you are attracted to. It is showing every day what that person means to you, how happy you are having them close by, that they are the choice of your heart and that you treasure the friendship and love that unites you both.
In previous weeks, we spoke about a few reminders that you and your spouse can use to help you build a happy and lasting marriage. This week we pick the reminders.
Invest in consideration and dedication
Marriage is a partnership of equals, without one exercising dominion over the other, and it requires encouraging and helping out with the responsibilities and aspirations of each other. If you make the well-being and happiness of your spouse your goal, there will be reciprocation and you will have a marriage that will last.
Develop patience
God teaches us that perfect love possesses perfect patience. No one has perfect patience, but every situation that tries our patience is an opportunity to gain even more. Thinking before we speak is a great way to exercise patience. Seeking to master self-control is a way to live it. This is true in all relationships but especially in marriage.
Nourish your love
Love needs courtesy, gentleness, attention, exclusiveness and time every day, whether it be a simple glance or an intimate moment. If we feed love with contrary feelings, it gets sick and dies, just like our bodies if we don’t nourish it. Establishing nourishing feelings and actions of love truly makes a marriage happy.
Use and abuse forgiveness
Sincerely apologising to your spouse can restore a relationship and make love grow, saving your marriage. Recognising causes of conflict and doing your best to avoid and resolve them is fundamental in a happy love.
Establish and take care of priorities
Be calm. Dedicate time to get to know each other. It takes time to build a lasting relationship. Establish priorities. It’s easier to evolve together when both respect the timing of the other. Any relationship becomes more constant, harmonious and satisfactory when it has a well-structured foundation.
Encourage to follow dreams
Bring out the best in each other by encouraging each other to pursue the dreams that God has placed on both of your hearts. Don’t let one spouse’s dreams get neglected. Aim to be fair and equitable about how you allocate your shared attention, time, energy, and money so that both of you can pursue your God-given dreams.
Trade anxiety for peace through prayer
Whenever situations make you or your spouse anxious, pray about them, trusting God to intervene in those situations and guide and empower you to deal with them well. As you trust God, He will give you peace.
Control your anger
Be careful not to hurt your spouse through the ways you express your anger (such as by speaking harsh words or throwing objects). Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the self-control you need to direct your anger in healthy, productive ways (like motivation for solving problems) rather than in destructive ways.
When you are arguing with your spouse and are having trouble controlling your anger, take a break and resume discussing the issue later when you are not too tired or stressed.
Keep learning, growing, and adjusting together
During every new day of your marriage that God gives you and your spouse, choose to follow God as he leads you on new adventures, so you both can become the people God intends you to become.
Remember God did not give you a finished product, so work at it to bring out that polished diamond you so desire. A lasting marriage will require the courage it takes to do all of this. Then, together you will find your “happily ever after.”
It’s not easy, but it’s also not impossible. A happy marriage is the foundation of a happy family and, consequently, a happy life. Enjoy your marriage.
Apostle Kanyati is the president and founder of Zoe Life Changing Ministries and Grace Unlimited Interdenominational
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